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Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio :

 

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3.. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. ! No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ”In five years, will this matter?”.

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

From the man himself, George R. R. Martin:

“For years now fans of my epic fantasy series A Song of Ice & Fire have been writing and emailing me to suggest… ask… beg for the books to be made into a videogame. I’m thrilled to be able to announce that, at long last, those requests are being answered. Cyanide Studios, an independent videogame developer based in Nanterre, France, has acquired an exclusive option to develop Ice & Fire as both an RTS (Real Time Strategy) and RPG videogame for next generation consoles and PC.

Cyanide will begin development immediately, with an eye toward rolling out the games for release in the summer of 2011. “We are all huge fans of ‘A Song of Ice and Fire’, so it is a true honour for our teams to be entrusted with creating the first video games inspired by this masterpiece” said Patrick Pligersdorffer, Managing Director of Cyanide. “The twists and turns of the plot will allow us to deliver an experience which can be enjoyed by both long-time fans as well as gamers new to the series. Its rich web of characters, set in a universe where nothing is just black and white, make it an ideal background for both an RTS and an RPG.”

Cyanide first approached me about videogame rights five years ago. No agreement was reached at that time, but Patrick and his colleague Joe Ryan have maintained their interest in the series over the years, impressing me with their doggedness and determination. Since that first contact, Cyanide has opened a studio in Montreal and more than doubled its headcount, and now have the resources to produce both RTS and RPG games that will, we hope, satisfy all my fans and readers, and gamers unfamiliar with the books as well. I am pleased to be in business with the Cyanide, and look forward to working with them on the games.

Cyanide was founded in 2000, and has developed and produced games in numerous genres, including sports management, real time strategy, fantasy, and action RPGs. More information is available through the company website at www.cyanide-studio.com“

Failure is just a perspective.

Anticipating or trying to define perfection denies one of the most perfect things in this world - the element of surprise. Particular for love, surprise is a wonderful thing.

Conclusion: take life as it comes, and see where it leads you. It might just be a perfect outcome.

Roll the arm over: Go out for a drink, chat to a few girls.

Let one go outside off: Decline an invitation from an unsuitable partner.

Smack one over the bowler’s head: Succeed very quickly with a woman.

Pull one over the covers: Masturbation (and yes, I know it’s impossible to pull over covers in the game of cricket, you drive, but it’s a great metaphor nonetheless).

Fending ‘em off down the leg side: Too many woman to handle.

Fielding at first slip: Running off your mate who has a surplus of feminine attention.

Bowling from both ends: Working two women in the same room.

A barrage of bouncers forcing you to duck for cover: More than one ex-girlfriend in the room while you are trying to tune other women.

Getting your eye in: Practice conversations with women earlier in the night.

Dispatched to the boundary: Have sex.

Whip the bails off: Masturbation or getting a woman’s smalls off. “How’d ya go mate? Did ya even get the bails off?

They’re flying off the edge: Attempts at conversation or connection with the opposite sex are going awry.

Let it go through to the keeper: Ignore a flirtatious offer from a woman or allow a woman’s phone call to go to voicemail.

Batting too high up the order: Aiming too high with women.

Seeing them well in the nets: Usually an expression of dismay at why you seem to be doing the right things - you’re feeling good, dressed well and are amped to meet a girl but can’t even manage to get an edge, let alone hit one in the middle.

You never walk to the crease … you stride: It’s about confidence, or apparent confidence. If you look like you’re gonna score a century, you will. Either that or you will get a first ball duck.

Playing county cricket: God’s gift to Australian men; English backpackers.

It’s all about time in the middle: You need to talk to women often to become successful at it.

Seeing them like watermelons: Having great success with the opposite sex.

Coming out of the hand nicely: Your interactions with women have proved positive so far.

A one-dayer: A one-night stand.

Ford Ranger Cup: A one night stand with a local lass.

Batting at Waverly (or your local) Oval: Doing OK with local girls that all your mates know, but there’s not much of a challenge.

Not a strong bowling attack: Similar to the above. You might have been successful, but deep down you know the opposition wasn’t of top standard.

IPL: Exotic action.

Test: Someone you’re interested in.

Twenty20: Explosive, short-lived sexual encounter, typified by flashy stroke-play.

Running between the wickets let you down: You’ve drunk a little too much.

Played a very straight bat: You didn’t come on to a woman in any shape or form. Usually a mate’s ex or sister.

Lot of moisture in the wicket: Many women present at an establishment.

Lot of turn in the wicket: Your interactions with the opposite sex are garnering unpredictable results.

Bowling into the rough: Trying to get a reaction from a woman.

Spent a lot of time at the crease: You’ve been drinking and/or chatting up for many hours.

Left arm around the wicket: Gay.

Electric wickets: When you’re bound to be successful with a woman if your mate scores with her girlfriend, usually because they live a long way away.

French cut: Blokes who act effeminate around women.

12th man: Carries the drinks all night, doesn’t get any female company for his troubles. “I’ve been 12th man the last three weekends in a row.”

Appeal against the light: Decline to have sex with a person because of their race/skin colour.

Battling without a helmet: No contraception.

Taking the new ball: Partaking in chemical enhancement after too many beers.

Leg byes: Pulling a root without a great deal of effort.

Enforce the follow-on: Sex after sex. “Mate, we both woke up at 10am and she enforced the follow-on.”

Right-arm orthodox: The missionary position.

The yorker: An acute, well-delivered line or action that virtually guarantees sex. “We were getting on pretty good and they I yorked her, so she had to play at the ball.”

Seagulling: Sitting in a pub on your own or with a couple of mates and making no contribution whatsoever to the pursuit of the opposite sex.

Bay 13: A nightclub full of bogan chicks.

Duckworth-Lewis: The formula employed to gauge how many drinks you’re prepared to buy a woman in order to get her into bed.

Adjust the sight-screen: Drink a few more beers in the hope the girl will somehow grow hotter.

Baggy Green: An award given to spectacularly beautiful women. “Aw, sweet baby Jesus, give her the Baggy Green, eh?”

Stranded at the non-striker’s end: Your wing man, who was keeping a woman’s friend busy, has crashed and burned and both females have brushed you.

A friend of mine who works at an advertising agency sent me this

We created a profile on a dating site and picked the best looking guy in the company to front it. He’s in many ways a Mr Perfect, good looking, Australian, 30something, 5’11, stylish, sporty, creative, works in advertising, owns his own apartment in the city, Masters level educated, six figure salary, well travelled and a genuine nice funny bloke. In the real world he by his own admission had never been refused by a woman he had seriously pursued over any time. He’s currently single after just coming back from NY and he was going to join a site anyway as he doesn’t get out as much as he used to and was happy to date any women he met whilst giving us the data we needed on the what women were looking for in men.

We filled in the profile and he spent a whole day looking at profiles. His profile was witty, well written, mistake free and contained lots of information about him. In the end he sent 100 approaches (we told him to) all of these 100 women he was happy to meet and he was to be given time off work to pursue them if he wished for his efforts(a dream gig!).

To our astonishment, he received only nine positive replies. Yes, nine. It threw our agency into compete meltdown.

It haunted me for days. If this man who was almost perfect and ticked the boxes of so many women’s checklists could only muster nine from 100 approaches, the modern women really is insane. The exercise sent a few guys in the agency into mild depression. We were talking about it for weeks.

Then we had an idea. Do the same experiment on overseas sites, but say he was based in that country.

France – 100 approaches – 89 positive replies
UK – 100 approaches – 72 positive replies
USA – 100 approaches – 76 positive replies
Brazil – 100 approaches – 87 positive replies
Germany – 100 approaches – 82 positive replies

I guess theres not a whole lot more that needs to be said.

 Subject: Paul Macartney

According to reports he paid 49million dollars to Heather Mills for 5 years or marriage.
Assuming he got sex every night during their 5 year relationship (which lets be honest, probably didnt happen) it would end up costing him $26,849 per time.

Now also note, Elliot Spitzers call girl, Kristen, an absolute stunner with a body like no other, charges $4,000 an hour. For anything..
Had Paul McCartney ‘employed’ Kristen for 5 years, he would’ve paid $7.3 million for an hour of sex every night for 5 years (a saving of $41.7 million).

Value-added benefits are: a 22 year old hot babe, no begging, no coaxing, never a headache, plays all requests, ability to put BOTH legs around you, no bitching and complaining or ‘to do’ lists. Best of all, she leaves when you’re done, and comes back when you ask her. All at 1/7th the cost, with no legal fees.
Sometimes renting makes far more sense..

How on earth can execute salaries more than DOUBLE!!!! while at the same time the company cuts over 1800 jobs.

While i can agree we are definitely in a time of economic crisis, and job cuts are inevitable, how on earth does such exorbitant executive pay increases make any sense ???

I just dont understand. At all. Even the great Joe Hockey got in on the action. Gotta love Joe Hockey

“I’m surprised that the large shareholders in Pacific Brands haven’t got something to say about not only the damage to the brand (but) some serious questions about why they had to lay off 1850 workers and still pay executives very significant sums,” Mr Hockey said.

In the words of Sharan Burrow, ACTU president, “Corporate Australia, it would seem, has lost its moral compass.”

Friendship among women:

She doesn’t come home one night, and tells her boyfriend that she spent the night with a female friend of hers. Her boyfriend calls 10 of her friends, and none know a thing.
Friendship amongst men:

Same deal here. Man says he spent the night at a friends place. His girlfriend calls 10 of his friends. 8 confirm he has been there, and the two others say he’s still there.

With Valentines day almost upon us (Its Saturday in case you had forgotten), i had this massive rant planned, but decided against it for 2 reasons.

1) I just cant be bothered any more and;
2) There are more important things to worry about.

I shall be spending it with friends at dinner. The restauranteur will probably love us, as we will spend far more money than a bunch of couples would, and will give some atmosphere and excitement to the restaurant.

Now, go donate some money to one of the Bush Fire Appeals!